


Save Me

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-14
Updated: 2008-01-29
Packaged: 2019-01-19 17:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12414276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Lily Evans is neither pretty nor ugly smart nor stupid popular nor geeky she is simply herself. And that’s just the way she likes it. But, the summer coming into sixth year, she undergoes something that changes more than just her outer appearence, but what makes Lily, Lily...





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Her Transformation**

**Lily Evans is neither pretty nor ugly; smart nor stupid; popular nor geeky; she just is. And that’s just the way she likes it. But, the summer coming into sixth year, she undergoes something that changes more than just her outer appearance but what really makes Lily, Lily…** (Official summary)

**A/N HOWDY! Its time once again for Corie to start another story! –Jumps for joy- I actually got this idea while shopping in American Eagle where I saw this emo/goth girl and so the description in later chapters is of her, FYI. Anyway, I’m on a major writer’s block for RJ and CeS(this one is undergoing EXTENSIVE grammatical re-writes for both the English and the French parts—I thank the people at Unknowable Room.org that helped with this) so those are on the back burner while this one will probably still go strong because I have one of my friends feeding me ideas (since she gets a kick out of gothic stuff…go figure). Also, I have 2 one-shots that I need to spell check really well, and then post, so those will be up by the end of the week…I hope.**

**Enjoy the story!**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

I was numb. Everything was numb. 

The cold wind that should have made me shiver and draw my jacket closer was whipping around my frail body, yet I did not feel it. My hair was bunched and knotted from the gusts and blew into my eyes, and I didn’t even have the energy to reach up and move it away.

My eyes were zeroed in on the intricate letters carved on the slab of marble in front of me. _Marie Evans_ , I read silently, _beloved wife and mother_. I clenched my fingers tightly and winced when I felt the cold metal sink into the soft skin of my palm. 

I held my hand to my face, almost dropping the scissors I forgot I had been carrying with me in the process. The blood welled out of my hand and fell onto the cold, unforgiving ground in fat droplets. 

It was then I started crying. The sobs wracked my entire body as screams tore through my lungs before being lost into the harsh wind. The tears pouring from my eyes made their slow descent down my face until finally rolling off my chin. 

I grasped a fistful of my hair that was such a bright red, it seemed almost surreal. My hair had always been my joy; it was so unique that I couldn’t even begin to imagine myself with any other hair color. But now, it made me sick. It brought back memories of better days, the days I was trying so hard to forget. I brought the blades closer to the lock of hair I had been holding. I took in a deep breath, trying to calm the raging wild fire that was urging me to do more than just cut my hair. 

My hands were shaking, I noticed, as I opened and closed the sharp weapons a few times. Suddenly, as if my hands were tired of waiting, the blades sliced across the smooth, silky hair and, with the sense finality about it, the lock fell to the snow covered ground below my mother’s gravestone, mixing in with the blood from my hand. 

“Goodbye, Mother,” I whispered as I snatched another bundle of hair to cut. I didn’t hesitate this time before cutting a jagged line through the rest so that the tattered ends of what was left fell softly to my shoulders. 

When I was finished, the ground beneath me was a mass of red. The blood mixed with hair and snow looked as if a battle had just been fought. And won. 

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

**I know that this is short, but it IS a prologue, and I already have the first chapter typed, so I'll be posting that right now.**   



	2. Chapter I: Never Assume

**Chapter One:**

**Never Assume**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

“Is that a new girl?” “What’s wrong with her?” The whispers and comments followed me around as I rolled my cart towards the shining Hogwarts Express. I lifted it up and threw it inside none too gently. There wasn’t anything breakable inside—I’m not nearly that wealthy to have something of actual _value_.

I climbed the stairs heavily, my boots clanking loudly on the metal steps, and I entered the nearest vacant compartment I could find. I stayed in here, not moving and on edge, expecting someone to come in and recognize me, even though I have made it almost impossible. 

My waist-long red hair had been chopped off so that the tattered ends fluttered down to slightly past my abnormally thin shoulders and new bangs were carelessly tossed so that they dusted over the right side of my face. I had also dyed it the darkest black I could find, and even then I did it several times. My lips were dry, although you couldn’t tell by looking at them through the layers of black lipstick. I had coated my eyes with liquid mascara, making them seem hooded and there color not nearly as bright. The dark blue and green hues of eye shadow didn’t help them any. 

I moved my tongue around the roof of my mouth, letting the cold barbell clack against my teeth. I still wasn’t used to having the thing, but I loved the way it looked; a flash of metal whenever I gave one of my rare smiles. I also adored the small hoop I had gotten put through my eyebrow. It screamed weirdness and individuality, desolation and despair, which is what I was going for, verses the cheerfulness of my bright red locks and bright toothed grins. 

When the train ride was approximately half over, I could hear a crash. I opened the door and peeked outside. James Potter and Sirius Black were standing over a sneering Severous Snape, who was laying on the floor, probably the after affect of some curse or another they had put on him What I saw didn’t surprise me, but I had to use excess self restraint to stop from stepping out there and screaming my head off for them to stop. 

Suddenly, I felt the moving train lurch and then come to a halt. I sighed and came back into my cabin before started to take off my street clothes in favor of the school uniform, but pulled on a hat that came low down my forehead, making me even less recognizable. When I was done, I slid open the door and waited for the throng of students to thin out before attempting to make my way towards the exit. 

I was almost there when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, making me jump and stop.

I turned to see who it was. Joy. 

“Are you one of the new transfers?” James Potter asked me. _YES!_ I screamed inside my head, _if_ Potter _doesn’t recognize me, there is no WAY anyone else will!_

I gave him a snide smile. “No,” I answered saucily, “I’ve been here for six years, same as you. Maybe if you get your head out of your arse, you’d notice somebody else besides the blond bimbos that roam the halls, and your bed.” I added as an afterthought

A snicker and wolf-call came from behind him from the head of two boys, one dirty blond and one black haired, as I looked on, amused, at the expression on Potter’s face. The lovely Marauders had shown up again. 

“Well, well, James, you got a feisty one,” Sirius Black commented with a grin that I think was supposed to make him look handsome, but it only succeeded in making him seem like the jackass he was.

“Shove off, Black,” I warned in a low voice. He came up behind me and put his arm around my shoulders, leading me toward the nearest empty carriage.

“Don’t worry, doll, I’ll have you begging by the time we get to Hogwarts.” His promise seemed to be one he made often, and it was amusing how sure of himself he was. 

I gave out a short laugh while I shrugged off his arm. “I doubt it, have fun trying though!” 

Climbing into the carriage, I sat down; making sure that my skirt rode dangerously high on my leg. I just needed a reason to hit something and Black was better than nothing, right?

While doing this, I made the mistake of letting my robes drift to far up my arm, bearing the tattoo on my wrist, and a collection of scars. 

“Whoa!” Black exclaimed, using his abnormally fast refluxes to grab my wrist. I gasped and attempted to pull it back, but he held it fast. “Righteous tattoo, dude! Very deep…”

It was of a lily, torn in half. One side of the petals was a beautiful ivory color that would have blended in with my skin tone if not for the black outlining. The other side was a deep black that contrasted vibrantly with the other side. Blood was seeping through the crack in the middle and trickled down the stem to gather at the bottom in a shallow pool.

“Thanks,” I said hurriedly and made to pull it back, thinking he would let it go, since he got to see what he wanted.

“Wait just a second,” James said and Sirius handed over my wrist to him. “How did you get these scars?” He asked, tracing his index finger over the longest one that ran from my pulse point down to my elbow. I winced as he came to the section where that line intersected with several others. 

“No where, just some accidents.” I yanked my hand back from him and folded my arms across my chest. “Sure,” he mumbled under his breath, and I could tell he didn’t believe me. If only he knew…

“You know what?” Sirius asked. “I don’t even know your name, and I’ve even _hit on you_!”

I laughed, making my tongue ring show which I think freaked him out a bit. “You’d know my name if you just look hard enough.” Sirius nodded a confused expression on his breathtaking face. Apparently he wanted a straight-forward answer, but that wasn’t what he got. 

“You know what else I have noticed?” Sirius said, completely forgetting my name.

“What, Padfoot,” James answered tiredly, rubbing his eyes. 

“No one has screamed at us yet. Meaning, that Lily isn’t here because the woman’s got eyes in the back of her head, and she _couldn’t_ have missed that prank we pulled on Snape.”

Shit. They can’t figure out that I’m sitting right next to them! But, of course, I _did_ see that prank.  


“You know what, you’re right!” James said, sitting up. “I didn’t even see her on the train. Do you think she got on? I mean she wouldn’t want to miss out on her sixth year, would she?”

The snort I tried so desperately to contain burst forward and both of the boys looked at me. “I just know something you don’t.” I said.

“And that would be?” Black was saying as if persuading a small child to confess to breaking the vase. 

“Lily got a new…makeover.” I answered eager for their reactions.

“What do you mean, ‘makeover’?” James looked worried. “She was perfect the way she was. Do you mean she like completely changed everything or, just like, her mascara?” 

“Trust me, you wouldn’t recognize her.”

“I think I would know my Lily anywhere.” I gave another snort, but was saved from having to answer by the carriage arriving in front of the castle. 

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Inside the castle at the welcoming feast, I sat through Dumbledore’s speech with a glazed look in my eyes, not really caring what he had to say. Next came the sorting, which I watched with slightly more enthusiasm. I more or less just sat there with my arms folded across my chest, praying that the food would appear so that I could eat the minimal amount to keep from starving and then leave. 

Finally, the food appeared. I grabbed one roll and a small portion of salad before hightailing it out of the Great Hall. Had I stopped for a moment I would have seen James Potter himself following me out. 

I ran down the corridors as if in a blind dream; not really seeing where I was going, but my feet, being sure of the path, took me right to where I wanted to go: the Gryffindor Common Room. It was then that I realized I didn’t know the password.

“Damn it,” I muttered. 

“It’s ‘hippogriff,’” a voice called from behind me. 

“That’s right, dear!” The Fat Lady chimed in before opening lazily. I made a move to enter the Common Room, but, once again, a hand slipped itself onto my shoulder and prevented me from moving.

“I helped you,” James said, “now you have to help me.”

“I don’t think giving me the password is considered the equivalent of one of a knight in shinning armor’s great deeds to humanity, Potter.” I snipped before attempting to shrug off his hand. It didn’t budge an inch.

“Just one question, please!” He looked so close to begging that it was actually quite pitiful. 

I sighed. “Fine. Ask your stupid question.”

“You know why Lily hasn’t shown up yet and why she had this ‘makeover,’ or whatever the hell you said, don’t you?” He seemed torn as to which emotion to display: sadness upon not seeing Lily and being told of her transformation, or anger and my stubbornness. 

“Yes.”

“Would you care to elaborate?”

“No.”

“Damn it. Then just answer this one question before I leave you here, nameless as far as I know, and walk off. Is she okay?”

_That was two questions_ , I thought, but didnt say. His emotional state was fragile enough as is. I hesitated before answering. “No.”

He turned around and violently picked me up by my shoulders so I was at his eye level. “Where the hell is she?”

It scared me to see so much passion in his eyes. Maybe he wasn’t just some random twit, and just maybe he actually liked me. 

“I never said she wasn’t here, did I?”

“No…but I assumed—“ He stammered, putting me down.

“That was your first mistake—assuming. _Never_ assume. Now, I have a question for you: What do you automatically ‘assume’ when you look at me?” I raised an eyebrow at him and took off my hat so that he could see my face more clearly and took my hair down, ruffling it slightly so it fell like I wanted it to.

“Well,” he started, “you look so familiar but I don’t know how I know you. And, to answer your question, I assume that either you grew up in a hard household or are attempting to overcome some great hardship.”

“Wow,” I whispered. He was dead on.  “I’m, uh, sorry that I can’t tell you where Lily is, but just know that she’s here, in Hogwarts, she’s just not herself, and she’s not well. She hasn’t been for a while I wouldn’t go looking for her if I were you, James, because you might not like what you find. Not all changes are for the better.” 

I should have turned to go right then, but for some reason I stayed. 

A mixture of emotions dawned across James’ face. First, realization, second, horror, and thirdly, pity. 

“No.” His eyes started to fill. “This just isn’t possible! Why, Lily? What possibly could have possessed you to do this? You were beautiful…so beautiful…” He trailed off.

“I-I would say that you wouldn’t understand, but it’s so much more than that. You just don’t know…damn it! I can’t even _explain_ it! Over the summer, my life got ripped apart, and in doing my best to clumsily paste it back together. Its not working as well as I would have liked, but I’m doing the best I can. It may not just be enough.” 

James stepped forward, and I could see the tears running down his face. He reached out a hand, and stroked my dark hair, fingering the ends. “It looked so much better before…” 

“I don’t know how else to explain it! One day, I’ll tell you the entire story, but I’m just not ready to yet.” I backed away slowly.   


“Goodbye, James.”

 


	3. Chapter II: Alastair Waverly

**Wow, thanks for all the positive feedback! This makes me warm and fuzzy inside!!**

**This chapter is going to have some flashbacks, because I know that I haven’t told basically _anything_ about Lily’s past—mostly because I had to write it in sequential order do make sure I don’t screw it up and then have to go back and fix it. Hope everyone liked the last chapter, and please R &R!! (my friend would like me to add that she came up with the name Cantabria, and wants her credit for it—she’s _so_ vain!—and apparently she wants to get it copyrighted. So, just know that Cantabria belongs to Teenie Wahine) **

_“Goodbye, James.”_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Sirius PoV)

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Ban—_

“Prongs stop!” I took a hold of James’ shoulders and wrenched him away from the wall. “Self-harm is _not_ an option.”

He sighed. “I can’t help it. Just _seeing_ her like that makes me want to puke. Why’d she do it Padfoot? Why could someone _that beautiful_ absolutely destroy herself?”

“I don’t know, mate. I just don’t know.” He was so pitiful looking, his face shallow and gaunt, his eyes missing the spark of life that I loved so much. 

Remus Lupin, werewolf and fellow marauder, took that moment to walk in. Upon seeing both of their faces, he stopped dead in his tracks. “What happened?”

“Lily.” I answered with a sigh.

“What, she hit you again?” James’s shoulders slumped and he rested his throbbing head against the coolness of the stone wall.

“It’s more serious than that.” Prongs answered wearily, rubbing a hand through his hair.

“Wow.” Remus turned back to me. “What _really_ happened?”

I shook my head sadly and walked out of the room, motioning for Moony to follow. Together, we walked down the corridors and came to stop in front of the library. “Brace yourself,” I warned in a low voice.

I opened the door and poked my head inside. Deeming it safe, I opened the door all the way and walked in. Remus followed, not quite sure what he was going to be shown.

I picked his way throughout the tables until I came to stop by the one I was looking for. It held one abnormally thin woman with black hair and another heavier girl with mousy brown hair. “Hello, ladies,” I greeted warmly, sliding in the seat next to Lily.

“What do you want, Black?” She asked with a sigh. Out of my peripheral vision I could see Remus’ eyes widen as he sat down next to me.

Lily looked at Moony sitting next to me and gave a wan smile. “Hello, Remus. How was your summer?”

“F-Fine,” he managed to stammer, barely getting over his shock at her appearence. Personally, I think it was the eyebrow ring, which gave a little jump as she smiled that completely freaked him. 

“That’s nice. Anything we can help you gentlemen with?” She addressed this question to me. 

“Nope. It’s all good.” I stood to leave, dragging Remus with me. He stumbled up, and his muttered goodbye’s before following.

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed once we had exited the library. 

“Uh-huh. You can say that again. Poor guy, he’s torn up. Can’t get over the fact that she’s gone. Figuratively, that is.”“We have to do _something_!”

“Like what?”

“Like—Like….hell, I don’t know, but _something_!”

I put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s out of our hands now.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Potter just has to come to terms with the fact that I’m no longer the old me. I’ve been reinvented, to a more high-tech Lily,” I preached to dear Alice who looked as if she was torn between being scared for my mental sanity and being so bored that she wanted nothing more than to slam her head against the wooden table of the Great Hall’s breakfast table. 

“Does _anyone_ know the full story, Lily?” She asked me, cutting open a muffin and laying on the butter. 

I thought for a moment. “Yes,” I finally said. “This one girl back in London, her name was Thorn. I told her the full story, but only because she saved my ass several times. Not kidding.”

“Would you ever be willing to tell me what happened?” 

I pondered about my and Alice’s friendship. “Yes, I’ll tell you someday, when it doesn’t hurt as much.”

“You do know that it will always hurt, right?” She questioned softly.

I sighed. “I know, but it’s better to let the cuts heal than pick the scabs daily. All I know is that if I can help it, I’ll never go home again…”

Alice gasped. “But Lily, if you don’t go home, where _will_ you go?”

This made me laugh. Oh, poor naïve Alice. “Where do you think I lived when I left, hm? I had to go _somewhere_. On second thought, you might not want to know…” I added when I saw Alice contemplate my possible living arrangements and shudder.

“Hmm,” hummed Alice as she took a bite out of her muffin. I leaned forward onto the long buffet tables, bracing my elbows on it, and resting my chin in my hands. 

__

_It was midnight and the streets of muggle downtown London were pitch black, the streetlights not helping any unless you stood directly under them. The stench of the city rose in a thick smog, blotting out any hope of light from the moon and surrounding stars. The tall, stone buildings flanked the street, looking menacing from what I could see of them._

_Two girls were running down the street, hiding in the shadows when a car would pass by. One of them was I, the other, a girl about my height, with a black pixie cut. She had on a tight black tank top that showed off her wirily muscles and the tattoo of a rose that winded its way up from her elbow to the curl around her neck and rest on her collarbone as a necklace was. Her piercings equaled to much more than I have, or would have even_ considered _getting. But, she was Thorn, the great ringleader of London’s most fierce some gang—Cantabria—and could do whatever she pleased. Besides me, she was the only other witch in our group, yet she never attended school. She had taught herself after her parents had abandoned her. She never talks about life before she found Gem, her second in command._

_Gem was…well, there is no set way to describe him. The boy around fifteen or sixteen, and was a wall of pure muscle. His six-foot-four frame was our brawns, and I was our brains. It’s nice to have a body guard when you’re only five-foot-five._

_Thorn and I stepped into an alley way and both of us halted simultaneously as a rat scurried across our path. We continued on at a run, not sure how much time we had left before it started. Our feet fell in step as we pounded the cobblestone ground; following the faint light that shown ahead. My breath puffed out in white clouds as we ran. Finally, after some time later, we descended onto a ring of chanting people, all swaying in a circle. Thorn cracked an evil smile while folding her thin arms across her chest, making the tattoo bulge._

_“We’re here.” She said simply, and all of a sudden, the crowd quieted and parted to let her and I walk through to the middle._

_I sucked in a breath and made my face a solid mask as the crowd surrounded us, closing up the gap that we had come from. Then, as if we were the eye of the storm, they started chanting and rotating around us. One man stepped out of the formation, and I expected it to mess up, although it didn’t._

_He was tall, much bigger than even Gem, but didn’t have the same theme the rest of us did. His jeans were ripped and faded, and I could tell easily that they were designer even from here. The bright red silk button down shirt distinguished him from the rest of the black, making him seem as if he was a beacon in the night. I guess he could be counted as handsome; his angular face and sharp, grey eyes reeked of power and knowledge, yet his tousled black hair somehow simplified him._

_“Welcome, Thorn.” He said in a monotone voice with a slight tinge of hostility. “We weren’t expecting you tonight; you’re not on the card.”_

_“Well,” Thorn replied in a sensual voice, “I know that for_ me _you could maybe just bump somebody down couldn’t you?” She gave a sweet smile. “I have another girl for you as well.”_

_It was then that this man looked my way. His eyebrows rose, making his bangs pop. “That changes things.” He looked me up and down in the way that made me feel as though I was a cow about to be hit by the butcher’s club. “What’s her evaluation?”_

_I looked at Thorn strangely as she answered. “High 8. W-9.” I had no idea what these numbers meant, but the man seemed to like them._

_“Lovely, in more ways than one. Be ready in thirty minutes.” The man gave a smile that sent a shiver down my spine._

_“I knew you could, Alastair,” Thorn said with a wink, grabbing a hold on my arm and walking off, the extra sway in her hips made the chains she was using as a belt rattle together._

_“What the hell?” I hissed when we were out of hearing distance. “What the fuck was that?”_

_Thorn sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Do you know what this is?” I shook my head no. “It’s a fight club. I come here a lot, bringing several new girls with me every time. What happens is that you are entered with very low odds, and then people put a lot of money on the other person because you look like you can’t fight worth a shit, while I put a ton of money on you. Then, when you win, because we all know that you are almost better than I am, we win a butt load of money that can hold us off until I can find another girl to train and you leave to go to that fancy school of yours. Then the cycle starts again. Seems simple enough right? That man was Alastair Waverly, another wizard, only one here as far as I know. He runs this and is the gang leader of the Vapulo. To them, he is God. Don’t cross him if you don’t want to die. It’s that easy.”_

_My mouth was slightly ajar. Was this girl insane? She must have seen my speculation because she quickly added, “Look, you_ are _good, and if need be, just use a little wandless and silent magic. Do whatever it takes to make sure that_ we win. _Okay? Start stretching, I have to go place the bet.” She stalked over to the tall girl with bright orange hair that was taking bets. I watched her pull out a wad of money, count it quickly, and then accept a ticket the woman handed back with a curt nod._

_She walked back over to me. “Don’t I have a choice?” I pleaded with her._

_“No.” Was her sharp retort as she took off my leather jacket from my shoulders and handed me a rubber band to keep my hair out of my face. Waverly shouted my name and I could feel my palms start to sweat against the leather of my half-gloves. “Good luck,” she whispered as she gave me a push in the right direction. I stumbled but caught myself in time before heading into the crowd…_

_I stepped into the ring which was really just a slab of concrete. My hands were shaking and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. I was too young to be faced with the prospect of death so early. Alastair Waverly stepped next to me, his frame towering over me by at least a foot. I gulped and stepped back, hiding my fear behind a mask of boredom and indifference. Waverly sneered at me before bowing to start._

_Let the games begin._

**_(Several hours and many vodkas and martinis later…)_ **

_“WHOO!” Thorn shrieked as she walked drunkenly down the street. “Oh the joys of being young and rich in London!” She cackled and took another swig out of the bottle that was clutched in her hand. “Oi, how come you can hold your liquor so damn well, eh? It ain’t fair!” She looked over at me and even though I had had the same, if not more, drinks than her, I showed no signs of being drunk, even though I sure_ felt _like hell._

_“One of my many talents,” I said with a smile, “and it runs in the family. Damn those DNA’s.” I knew that Thorn had no clue what I was talking about in her state, but she seemed to calm after I had finished. “Come on, sweetie,” I soothed her as she started to become more pale and green around the edges, “let’s get you home.”_

**I had SO MUCH FUN writing the last part of Thorn being drunk. I can picture it now…-giggles uncontrollably- But, yeah, this gives a little bit of insight to Lily’s life prior to coming back to Hogwarts, and I knew that this needed to get in here somehow, although there will be a lot more of these in the future. Also, Thorn may pop up somewhere later on, you can count on that!**

**Thanks so much for reading and don’t forget to review!!**

 


	4. Chapter IV: Occulmency

**loThis is going to be a LONG chapter—that could probably be 2 different chapters, but there’s a lot of important info in this that needs to get out (also, this is the result of a 7 ½ hr car ride to and from Kentucky. The ride was hell, but Thanksgiving there was seriously funny. (My aunt lost a 20lb turkey only to find it in the back of my uncle’s truck under a toolbox…in the cold…outside. He got an earful.)) But anyway, enough of me ranting, this chapter has several different flashbacks and if I get some spells wrong, please correct me. I do want to get everything accurate! (BTW—if anyone can guess who Alastair Waverly _really_ is, I will email you the next chapter before it is put up. It’s quite unexpected, and EXTREMELY AU, but it is a character that will be mentioned in this chapter— a hint is in one of the flashbacks. Good luck!)**

“Today,” Professor Paravat droned on, “We will be practicing our skill of Occlumency.” He wrote the spell on the board, with a descriptive paragraph on its origins and whatnot, and paused to the furious scurry of quills trying to decipher his illegible handwriting. The Professor then proceeded to explain how to use it and how to block it, but I didn’t bother to even attempt to pay attention—why bother when you already know it?

The students paired up, and somehow I ended up with Potter. I sighed. “Okay, Potter, go ahead and try it on me.” He complied without a word and I could feel the itching in the back of my mind as his magic was trying to gain access to my thoughts. I threw up my brick wall and then backed it up with my long-harbored anger at the world which made it almost impossible to cross. 

Sensing my resistance, Potter redoubled his efforts, as did I. It was a well-matched battle, neither gaining the upper hand, but I was growing tired very quickly. He noticed this and started scaling my wall, searching for any faults or cracks in its foundation. He found on right in the center and attempted to burrow in it.

I panicked. He doesn’t need to see this! I thought to myself, growing desperate to block him out. Picturing a battling ram, I slammed it into his subconscious being, pitching him out of my mind but maybe a little too forceful since his chair tipped over, sending him on the ground. 

“I’m so sorry!” I quickly apologized, shooting out of my seat to help him up.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said quickly, brushing himself off, “that was really good. I’m impressed.”

I gave him a small smile. “I had a friend teach me.”

“She must have been very good.” 

“Who said it was a she?”

“Oh I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything.” Potter stammered. It was cute, seeing him vulnerable and unsure of what to say for once. In fact, this was the first time on my records that we had had a civil conversation. And I was thoroughly enjoying it. 

“It’s fine. He was just a friend that I owed my life on multiple occasions for teaching me Occlumency. It’s a trained art, really, not necessarily a skill as many people think.”

-flashback- 

__

_“Get with it Lily!” Waverly screeched, as I picked myself up off the floor. “You should be able to hold up your defenses for_ hours _not just a few measly minutes! Make sure you step up, girl, before next time. I’m not a patient man.” He exited the room with a flourish, leaving me cowering on the floor, wondering what would happen next time…_

_~3 days later~_

_“Well,” Alastair Waverly said, “do you think you can finally hold out this time?”_

_I gulped and nodded. “Good.” He sneered._

_His stony gaze met mine for a second before his whispered, “Legilmens.” Instead of embracing him in my mind, as I had been doing, I immediately blocked the entrance, shielding the horror of my mind from this man. He pushed harder, making my forces crumble and shake at the contact. I heard him laugh evilly, and the thought of him taking pleasure in my struggles made me seethe with fury. My anger showed on the edge of my subconscious as a silver liquid, and I used it to build a mote around my defenses, but not before filling the cracks in the wall, forcing him to either leave, or get smothered._

_“Yes,” Alastair hissed before pulling out. “_ That _was what we have been trying to achieve._ That _will make you unbreakable. Remember that.”_

-end flashback- 

__

“Miss Evans! Mr. Potter!” Professor Paravat interrupted our conversation with his high, squeaky voice. “Excellent show of work! Five points to Gryffindor each! Pray tell, Miss Evans, how did you manage to hold him out for an entire thirty minutes?”

“Um, well,” I paused seeing the entire class’ attention focused on me. “Practice, I guess. I had a lot of practice over the summer. And, um, you have to, um, find your method that works best for you. I think of my defenses as pictures or, uh, objects, kinda like a medieval battle, you know, a brick wall and mote, and I can see how they crumble and then use reinforcements to back them up. If the person is as strong as I am, I usually use different stages and save the hardest. Everyone’s different, I guess,” I could feel myself blushing at the beginning but later got more comfortable as I realized that I was making a valid point. 

“Excellent…pure brilliance,” Paravat murmured. “Would you mind if I tried?”

I shook my head no and rotated in my chair so I faced him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Potter’s look of not believing that I was letting a teacher inside my mind.

Professor barely moved his lips but he hit my mind with as much force as Waverly did. I was startled for a moment, but then adjusted to the intrusion. I doubled up the wall, expanded the mote, and had my army ready. All we had to do was wait. 

He didn’t keep us hanging. But, unlike the other people I had faced, save for one, but he’s not important, Paravat started out slow, walking his way around my mote and inspecting the wall. I was positive he would find no fault, though apparently he did, because a small prick of pain told me otherwise. 

I focused my minds eye back to the task at hand. It was just like a battle between two rivaling nations; the enemy is breaking into the kingdom, what do we do? Fight back is the only option that came to mind. I set loose the chargers, bracing myself for the collision. I winced at the noise, yet the enemy retreated several places. Paravat was getting angry at having a student best him, I could tell. Slashing at my inner wall and subconscious thought I was pretty sure I let out a small moan of pain. Now he truly was the enemy. 

We continued battling, his weapons causing me to cry out in actual pain, yet I did not surrender.

-flashback- 

__

_I flinched as Waverly approached me. “Surrender,” he growled in a soft voice, “is out of the question. Those who surrender are those who die. No pupil of mine will surrender unless they’re already dead.” My eyes widened in fear._

_He bent down so that his mouth was level with my ear. “You wouldn’t even guess that I was year younger than you, would you?” I wouldn’t have, but I didn’t speak. That was one of the rules; don’t speak unless to speak a spell. And even then it had better be extremely quiet._

_“Again,” Alastair ordered, backing up so that he was several meters in front of me. “Imperio.” He whispered as my body snapped to attention, but my mind kept in my state. As he gave off orders, my body would twitch, eager to obey, but I kept a firm rein on myself, determined not to fail. It took a few moments, but eventually I was able to completely overthrow the curse._

_“Good,” he encouraged me, even if only halfheartedly. “Again.”_

_We kept going until it took only a moments hesitation before the curse rolled off me as naturally as water. “That’s it.” Waverly said after several hours of the work. I collapsed in exhaustion, my limbs sore from over exertion and a pounding headache threatening to overturn my stomach. I sank against the stone wall, welcoming the cold._

-end flashback- 

__

_GET OUT!_ I screamed inside my mind, but I was sure he was determined to not rest till he had discovered my secrets. For the first time since summer ended, I was losing. And I didn’t like it. 

Exhaustion was creeping in the edges of my brain, threatening to smother me like a dark blanket. I welcomed it; anything to escape the pain and pressure. As I crept closer to the darkness, my inner flame of defiance took over. For a moment, I had an out of body experience when a _whoosh_ of air carried me up to the rafters of the school. 

Inside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, I was sitting in the same chair, my fingers clutching the wooden sides until my knuckles were numb. Suddenly, my eyes flashed open, but they were not my usual green color. They were an icy grey, almost boarding on white. They swiveled around the class until they came upon Professor Paravat, who was bent over me, still deep within the folds of my mind.

My mind sucked me back into my body and I saw that my defenses were in shambles. I was so close to giving up…so willing to admit defeat and just move on, but a voice echoed around my head. 

“Don’t do it Lily. Let go. Let me do it.” It said. It was a male voice, one that was familiar, yet foreign at the same time. I felt the _whoosh_ again, and zoomed upward, anxious to see what he was going to do. A bright light started to emit from my body, driving Paravat backwards. Suddenly, a feral scream ripped from my lips as I was forcefully slammed into my being. 

The pain Paravat had caused was almost unbearable. The wall was down, completely and utterly destroyed, but he had continued on attacking, beating down my defenses until the last dust particle was gone. But, I was confused. Why wasn’t he continuing to his prize: my memories? In fact, it looked as though he was backing away. I looked around and my question was answered. 

A thin, silvery film was protecting me. Another one had surrounded my Professor, leaving him no room for escape. He looked panicked and quickly vanished from my mind. 

I opened my eyes and blinked quickly a few times. My body was trembling uncontrollably, and beads of sweat decorated my forehead. Tears were streaming silently down my face as the after shocks of pain washed over me. I saw Professor Paravat, passed out cold on the floor, and started to stand, but ended up collapsing back in the chair, crying into my hands. 

A rough hand slipped around my waist, turning me so that I was facing him before letting go. 

“Dear Merlin Lily! I thought he was going to kill you!” James Potter whispered to me. 

I didn’t answer, but continued on sobbing. James collected me in his arms and pressed my shaking body against his, gently rubbing my back. I put head on his shoulder, and held my arms tightly around his neck. 

I heard the doors of the classroom swing open and murmurs about what had happened surrounded me. I had stopped the flow of tears and was listening only partly, still clutched in Potter’s arms.

James was explaining to Dumbledore about Professor Paravat’s ‘invitation’ and what I had done when he entered. Apparently, the body of my enemy was removed, and they were now worried about me. 

I felt James stand up and carry me out of the classroom. The gentle rocking of his body as he walked was enough to lull me to sleep. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I awoke to a throbbing headache and a blinding white light. I was warm and comfortable, but tired of staying still. I had the feeling I had been here for a while, and one more moment of it was enough to make me go insane. Slowly, my body protesting with every movement, I inched back the covers and let my feet slip onto the cold linoleum floors. Locating a spare set of clothes I carefully slipped out of the hospital wing and onto the stone corridors.

I walked silently, ignoring my body’s protests, until I reached my destination; the Astronomy Tower. Its view of the entire Forest and grounds, not to mention the stars, was enough to make anyone exclaim on its beauty. 

I was out here for a long time before the opening and closing of a door woke me out of my reverie. “Hey Lils,” a soft voice greeted me.

The man came to stand next to me where I was braced against the railings surrounding the Tower. “I’ve often thought of just jumping.” I said suddenly. 

I could feel his surprise. “Why on _Earth_ would you think something like that?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” I gave a dry chuckle, “drunk, abusive father, dead mother, a teenage prostitute of a sister, oh yeah, great things to live for!”

“But they’re not you, Lily! You don’t have to turn out like them!”

“Too late. I drink and do drugs. I’m downtown London’s champion in gang fights. Hell, I’ve even _killed_ , but that’s a different story for another day. Thorn and Alastair were the only ones keeping me going.” I sighed and sank down onto the floor. “My life is such a fucking mess, James.”

He was silent for a moment. “What are you doing over Christmas break?”

“I beg your pardon?” I asked, startled by his question.

“You need somewhere to go during the break don’t you? I mean you don’t want to be the only one in the castle. I propose you come home with me.”

“Thanks for the offer, James, but I couldn’t impose on you like that. And besides, I’m sure that after you’ve learned of sixty percent of my habits, you’ll be ready to dump me out on the streets.” I stood to leave, but James grabbed my arm, pushing me back down with him. 

“I don’t think that’s physically possible. You’re perfect in every aspect of the word. You know, after dropping you off in the Hospital Wing, Dumbledore and I had a chat with dear old Professor Paravat.”

“Why? I asked, confused.

“Because it was discovered that he was actually a Death Eater who had taken poor Professor Paravat hostage so that they could impersonate them and learn more about you. They didn’t succeed, obviously, but would you have any reason as to _why_ they would want _you_?”

I nodded, and said faintly, “Yes. But it’s not just me they want, per say, they just want information that I have.”

James laughed. “Dear sweet Merlin! You had an adventurous summer! Pissing off Death Eaters, becoming the fucking Occlumency _queen_ …is there anything you _didn’t_ learn how to do?”

I smiled wirily. “You have too much faith in me, Potter.”

“En contraire, I have every reason to have the utmost faith in you, Evans.”

“What about next time a Death Eater attacks and I die. You’re faith would have been lost, wouldn’t it?”

James lost his joking demeanor. “That’s not going to happen.”

“How do you kn—?”

“Because,” he interrupted, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Ever.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Following the next weeks, I stayed latched onto James’ arm, determined to keep him to his word. This meant hanging out with the Marauders too, something that wasn’t nearly as bad as I had predicted. In fact, I thought everything perfect, until one day at the lake.

“Sirius,” Regulus Black barked as he stalked over to where we were lounging under the beach tree. “Mum wants to know if you’re coming home for break.”

Sirius snorted. “’Course not. Do I ever?” 

“But this time, she _insists_.”

Sirius looked up startled. “Why? Mum hates me, and she doesn’t bother hiding it.”

“Just make sure you’re home for the holidays, alright?” He walked off toward the rest of his Slytherin friends without a backwards glance.

“James,” Sirius said his voice shaky, “I’m worried.”

James started to answer, but I cut him off. “I know why they want you home, Sirius.”  
  
He looked at me, startled. “Really? Why then?”

“Your brother, Regulus, is a Death Eater, correct?”

Sirius, along with the rest of the Marauders gave me a strange look, but he nodded to confirm my facts. “He wants to know information about me. They are convinced that you should know everything about me since we’re hanging out now. And they’re not going go stop at any means to get it. Just…” I took a deep breath. “Just be ready to run.”

**How was it? Good? Bad? Ugly? Have you figured out who Waverly is yet? If you have, drop it in a review with your email address and I can tell you if you’re right or not. If you are, I can give you the next chapter which I will post next week, just to give people time to digest this.**

**Thanks for reading and make sure to review!!!**

**~Topaz**


	5. In a Dark Alley Way

**PLEASE NOTE THAT THE BEGINNING—AND THE BEGINNING ONLY!—OF THIS CHAPTER IS IN THE POINT OF VIEW OF ALASTAIR WAVERLY!!!**

**Read and Review please!!**

(Waverly’s PoV)

 

The minute I saw her, I knew the girl was gold. The way her eyes seem to take in everything without letting the people around her know she was observing them. The way her lithe body seemed ready to react at a moments notice made her a valuable opponent—and defender—in combat. Her mind was never stopping, yet hidden behind the mask of indifference that I assumed she had been trained in: the perfect poker face.

 

After some…intense negotiation with Thorn, I had finally…persuaded her to let me train the girl. Although I was young in years, I had been prepared by the best, and our side needed a girl like that. One that was unstoppable, unbeatable, and, better yet, as conniving as the devil himself.

 

We went hard; I was quite aware that I was driving the girl to the end of her string, yet I persisted. I soon realized I had made a good choice as our next weapon for the light against the dark when I discovered her hate. The fire that coated what seemed to be every fiber in her being. This element drove her farther than the average human should have been able to go.

 

It always happened at the end of the lesson: one mention of a soft topic— her non-existent family or the tattoo on her arms—and she was out for blood, the magic was practically _erupting_ out of her. I have several scars from this girl. Scars that I will bear proudly because I will be able to say “Look. I helped train our savior. I perfected the Lioness.”

 

                                      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

(Lily’s PoV)

 

You know how some people can tell when someone’s staring at them, or when something is going to happen? I had one of those feelings. But, it wasn’t like Potter was staring at me—that was nothing out of the ordinary—but I had the feeling something terribly _bad_ was going to happen.

 

It was a sickening feeling; the thought haunting the back of my mind and making my every move a paranoid one, until finally, one day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Bursting into Dumbledore’s office, I found him sitting behind his desk, scribbling furiously onto a piece of parchment.

 

“Yes, yes. Please take a seat, Miss Evans.” He motioned to the empty chair facing his desk. Still writing, he asked me once I had taken a seat, “I assume this is urgent? You are currently missing lunch.”

 

“Professor,” I started out hesitantly, “is it possible for one to, oh, I don’t know, say, get a forewarning of danger?”

 

Dumbledore stopped writing. “It’s not unheard of. Why, pray tell, do you ask?”

 

“Because, sir, something _bad_ is going to happen; I can feel it!” 

 

He chuckled. “Miss Evans, we are in the middle of a war. Bad things happen all the time. What makes you so sure that this time, it will affect us?”

 

“I-I don’t know, sir. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” I felt my face flame up in shame and quickly scurried out of the office, cursing myself several times over for being such a fool. 

 

Over the course of the next few weeks, I ignored the nausea that rose in my throat randomly. I knew now it to be nothing but me coming down with a slight something. 

 

November twenty-second, a Saturday, was the first Hogshead trip of the year. Bundled up, all the third-years and up gathered into multiple carriages and waited to be taken to the quaint village. 

 

When the rolling coach came to a swaying halt, I leaped out, pulling my woolen hat lower on my face and stuffed up the tufts of black hair that had somehow escaped. I then trudged along, my head bent against the forceful wind toward the warmth of the Three Broomsticks. 

 

Upon entering, a wave of heat rolled over me, causing me to take off both the hat and scarf. I waved over Rosemerta to order, but the prospect of drinking a butter beer for the umpteenth time didn’t sound too inviting. Suddenly, my eyes sat upon the Marauders and I had an idea. 

 

Walking over I placed a hand on Potter’s shoulder. “Can I speak to you for a moment?” He nodded and followed me over to the corner.

 

“How may I help you, m’am?” he said, tipping an invisible hat. 

 

“I’ve never known how you do it; otherwise I’d do it myself. But I-I…” I stammered and trailed off. Biting my lip I leaned forward and whispered, “I desperately need a shot of firewhisky.”

 

James smiled. “Is that it?” I nodded. “I never knew you to be one to drink, but okay. I can get you a few shots. Actually, I need Sirius to get you a few shots, since he’s more into the drinking then I am. I’ll come find you in ten minutes.”

 

I sat down at a nearby table and pretended to be interested in the Daily Prophet. A few minutes later a short bottle landed with a _thud_ on the wooden table. I looked up but saw only a retreating figure. Taking the bottle, I hid it in my cloak before standing up and exiting the building.

 

Once I was outside, I put the green bottle to my lips and relished in the liquid running down my throat into a comfortably full stomach. It chased the cold away from my body and when it was half gone; I stopped, corked it again, and placed it away. 

 

As if on key, a woman screamed, making me jump in surprise. People started pouring out of the building, searching for the source of the noise. Then, a shot rang through the air, silencing all. It was followed by a sharp cry of “Have mercy!” and the crowd started to panic. 

 

I laughed silently to myself. Well, wasn’t this just bloody typical? Making sure all loose articles of clothing were tucked in, I ducked left and ran down a narrow alleyway, fighting the tide of witches and wizards the whole way. I entered the dark, covered alley and pressed my small body to the wall, hoping to blend in with the shadows. Just like home, I thought.

 

Suddenly, I heard my name be called out in a panicked voice and footsteps come from the entrance. Chuckling quietly, a mischievous smile slid onto my face as I thought of the things that I could do to poor, naïve Potter.

 

He slowly got closer as I got into position. One more step and then I leaped into the air but, upon seeing the hooded figure behind him, I grasped his wrist and slammed his back against the wall, earning a grunt of pain that I quickly muffled with my hand. I pressed my body against his and placed my head close to his ear.

 

“Don’t even breathe.” I warned in a low whisper. He nodded in reply. 

 

The dark person slowly crept ever forward, hunting his missing prey. Then, he stopped and looked our way.  

 

“Do you trust me?” I asked James, alarmed by the Death Eater’s closeness. Potter’s eyes widened, but he hesitantly nodded his head. “Don’t worry about me. I have friends in high places. Just…run.” Before he could protest, I launched off of the wall and, with a scream, I started running towards the end of the alley, drawing the Death Eater away from James.

 

Before I disappeared completely, I looked backed to see Potter’s pale and fear-stricken face as he turned to run in the opposite direction. 

 

After turning several blocks, I could feel beads of sweat start to pop out on my forehead and my breath was coming in short gasps. The heavy articles of clothing were weighing me down, but there was now where to store them where my pursuer wouldn’t see them.

 

The moment I stopped to catch my breath was when I heard the thumping of heavy footfalls behind me stop, and it was eerily quiet. Out of nowhere, a “ _Stupefy!_ ” rang from the silence. I let out a cry of surprise and of fear when I thick hand grasped the back of my collar, dragging me over the wall and to a hard drop on the other side. 

 

I spun around, looking for the source of the hand. My eyes laid on the grey ones of whom else but, Sirius Black.

 

“You _idiot_!” I screeched. “This isn’t supposed to happen! Merlin only knows where he’s gone now! I swear I could _really_ kill you! If he ever found out…” I shuddered and peered over the wall, searching for the lowest drop.

 

“The things I do for that boy,” Sirius mumbled under his breath as he came up behind me and seized me with arm around my waist and the other flipping me over his shoulder. “Do you even _eat_? You don’t weigh a thing! Look, you nearly gave James a heart attack, pulling that stunt, and I am here to give you back to your rightful owner.”

 

“RIGHTFUL OWNER? Are you bloody insane?”

 

“Yep. But see, if James were anything like me, he would put a collar and leash on you, but seeing as he’s not, and hasn’t taken those measures yet, he relies on dear old Padfoot to go scaling walls and rescue his damsel in distress. Now, I don’t think that sounds fair, do you?”

 

“Just. Put. Me. Down.” I said through gritted teeth.

 

“Glad to know you agree with me—oof!” Before he could continue on what I am sure would have been a _beautiful_ topic, I swung my leg up, and hit him under the chin, causing him to lose his grip on me and stumble backwards. I took this moment to roll of his broad shoulder and off the side of the wall, landing softly with bent knees.

 

“GET BACK HERE LILY! JAMES IS GONNA BLOODY KILL ME!” I heard him screaming behind me. I chuckled softly. Now, it was time to find my Death Eater.

 

As I started running again, I stripped down to just my sweater and skirt but still hugged the wall around bends and turns. 

 

After several moments, I hit the jackpot. A group of five or six Death Eaters was congregated in a corner, muttering amongst themselves.

 

“Looking for me?” I cried out, waving my arms above my head before turning and sprinting into the garbage-covered alley. Jumping over bags and cans, I led the high-speed chase of my life. 

 

My legs pumping hard, I finally came to a halt behind a tiny wooden door half-hidden in the mounds of things piled on top of it. I slammed my fist onto the door a few times, bouncing from foot to foot, anxious as to where my pursuers were in their chase. 

 

Finally, the door opened. “Lily,” a deep voice greeted. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

 

I smiled evilly as the hooded figures turned the corner, they’re eyes locked onto me. “I have your Death Eaters, Waverly.” 

 

 

**How mean am I? And I am SO SORRY I didn’t put Alastair’s true name in here. It will DEFINATLY be in the next one! Promise!**

  
  
 

 

 

 

 


End file.
